McVets Leaving

Do you remember your first love? I think everyone does... I was so young and naive my freshman and sophomore year of college. I'd never wanted anyone good for me or cared about me and had to be convinced by my close friends that he was worth the risk. Tomorrow he leaves off into his big blue future and I realize I'm just a number of weeks until I'm done with this place here. I'm not going to lie and say college was the best years of my life, cause it wasn't. College for me was a lot of changes, the experience of death, the development of anxiety, learning how to love, learning how to lose, learning the friendships you make here are incomparable to home etc. It's just wierd that its all ending you know? The person who held my hand through the death of a close friend, may never be seen again after a move crosscountry and a new career. This is the end of the beginning or the beginning of something new and even though I'm so excited, I've always had issues with the fact that time keeps moving forward. All of my dreams, I had back my sophomore year and have been revised and replaced with new bigger more inspired notions and that makes me excited. Years ago, I would have thought I would be moving to the middle of nowhere to do nothing but be married, but now I'm moving to a great big city away from the people I care about to do something that I can feel proud about. He's different, and I'm different and I'm glad things ended when they did because we would have never had those experiences that shaped us after. I learned how to rebuild, how to love again, and how to be more open to the world around me and less judgmental. What I've learned over the last 4 1/2 years, is life is short and loving is important, but it's about following your own dreams to make you happy not somebody elses.

I haven't written here in a while. I'm not even quite sure what to write. All I know is that honesty and communication is the best policy. I think a lot of bad assumptions or issues arise from lack of verification, by assuming the worst in each other. I've made some mistakes recently by trying to verify things that weren't really my business to find out. However, if no one verfies and rumors keep spreading how do we know what the real "truths" are? Maybe I'm wrong and like someone said "autistic or something" but I'm trying to get things right.

Your Bright Baby Blues...

Almost a year ago... I wrote this :

"Which leaves me to the question, is it safe to open ourselves up to other people? Why do we do it? Relationships almost always end badly, no matter if they end on good terms or not, to care deeply means to hurt deeply. I think our capacity to care and want to care is one of our most masochistic human traits. Everytime we open our hearts to our friends, our family, a relationship, a pet, we set ourself up for dissapointment."

It's funny how our lives become circular. Soon after I wrote that... I journied into another relationship... full of the good, the bad and the ugly. Plenty of hurt and dissapointment arose for both of us. After that, I spent the next 6-9 months avoiding anything that could get personal or develop into anything again. I shut off mentally and was more concerned with the physical or the superficial and insulated myself from anything, or anyone who could ruin my day with a few choice words. Maybe I've been a little cold, or a little reckless but it worked for me and I made the poignant effort to engage myself that way. In a way, I took on the trait of using men in my life for humor or pleasure, flattery, rides at five am, or free food. All except two. One being my father, and the other I'm sure is clear to all those who have read any previous entries. However, these actions have been proceeded with notable scrutiny. While I have attempted to keep all these "indiscretions" under codes of silence, apparently men are no longer the strong, silent types that they once were generations ago.

However, continually people continue to accuse me of being naive or falling prey to these people. I have been accused of needing that kind of approval I hate that there is a double standard of what I choose to do and what the entire population of men do or aspire to on a continual basis. Why are women always considered the victim? Why can't we be the femme fatale? How come I can't be knowledgable and self aware and instead of being possessed by the need for approval, not caring about what these people think. I am not a stupid girl, and I can read people like books, maybe sometimes you don't want to get close to someone or you don't want to choose the person who is going to care for you. Because when they care, you care and you get close... because sometimes getting close to certain people means that you are privy to their whims and whether they love you or not. Getting close to someone means that every little thing can hurt like a millions of shards of glass picked up by the wind. Getting close means that sometimes it hurts to breathe, or every spare moment of silence, the haunting reality of the love loss creeps in. Getting close and losing someone in romance or in death means that you can't evem watch a movie or listen to a song without thinking about them. Using others gives you the control to keep people at bay, the control to keep away from the heartbreak or caring about other peoples thoughts. It also acts as a distraction from the losses before or that still exist under the rubble and ruins in my core. So maybe I'm not as naive or maleable as one might think... maybe I'm just trying to build a world around me that can't fall down.

Things that made me smile today

1. Round 3 in the Internship Process

2. Studying the right things for my final

3. Man riding bike, on free way, with earbuds, and jorts (natural selection)

4. Large man with gotee and bucket hat.

5. Finally getting to eat chipotle

Self

Have you ever accidentally seen your reflection and not realized it was you? Sometimes when I make dramatic color changes to my hair, I've been unable to recognize myself for a few moments, it's like the actions that I am doing as myself are somehow disconnected from the persona of "me".

They say "the earliest formulation of the self in modern psychology from the distinction between the self as I, the subjective knower, and the self as Me, the object that is known" (James). So who am I? Am I the "I" who I want to be? Or am the "I" of my actions? Or am I the "I" of how people perceive me? In communications, they say all communication is receiver based, and intentionality no longer matters, it's what others percieve. Is this getting too psychological? Anyway to make matters short, I know who I want to be, and who I want to be percieved as, but recently back in San Diego, I don't feel that all my actions are revealing of who I am, or who I want to be.

I have been home for almost a week now, and I feel far more grounded and self aware then I have for the last two months. It's funny how "home", your parents and your friends who have watched you grow, determine your identity so much. But am I who I am here? Or am I really how people perceive me away from that environment? For example, both my parents are from places that are vastly different from the California lifestyle they leave now. Is my dad Timmy, middle son, or Tim the Marin Contractor? Is my mother "Treeshy" from New York who is pushed around by her bossy matriarch and older sister, or is she the successful lingerie designer/importer? Are the people who know her from those days see her as the same person?

This is not to say, I have a complete personality split. I am actually very similiar in my humor, my drinking, and the way I socialize, back down south. However, it's the perception of me by others that I think impacts where I fit in socially. Those who knew me my freshman year of college, verses those that have just met me have vastly different perceptions. So this is who I think I am, and you can tell me if this is your perception or some identity I've made up of a stranger:

I am: awkward- not always in a bad way, I hope mostly in an endearing way. I trip, I fall, I make bad jokes. I get really shy about people I've never met and sometimes I would rather have no filter and say what I'm thinking, rather than doing what is "socially acceptable". I am very direct, at times to a fault when I know how I feel or what I want.

kindof a bitch: I am really sarcastic and judgmental sometimes and I've been trying to work on that. However, I will judge anyone with too much Ed Hardy, Affliction, necklace chains and hair gel. If I am uninterested in speaking to someone, I will just stop and walk away. I am cynical.

curious: I ask a lot of questions, in every situation. I like to know stuff. I will spend hours on wikipedia learning about the movie I just watched, learning how to read palms, and what exactly are peoples 9/11 conspiracy theories. Even if I don't believe, or understand something, I want to know why and figure out how people think.

pensive: I think too much. I've been told that too many times. Especially by boys. I overanalyze every interaction I make, argument put forth , and commercial I watch. I am always trying to deconstruct and evaluate. I can't help it, and if I have a long car ride or plane ride, thats what I do... I think.

Anyway the reason I am posting this is, I think its important for close friendships and relationships, to have you be you. Always. Never the unrecognizable face in the mirror, but the true you... no holds bar. I have been fortunate enough to have five or six friendships and three relationships that allow me to be myself at their peak. I think thats why I will always love and treasure those people in my heart. Those people make it so that home isn't just a place, but always with me.

Its been about 2 months since I've been here, and I realized probably shouldn't have returned. The problem isn't that I'm not having fun, but I'm having "too much fun". I'm doing well in school. However, I feel like I am regressing emotionally, in my relationships I make with people. I feel like I need to sit back rewind and slow down but its really hard because the moment you do, you realize there isn't much here. Ashley has been amazing. However, the rest of my friendships here and time I spend all seems less real then I was at home. Even my own actions, seem disconnected from how I'm feeling. I spend my time rationalizing everything to myself, but this isn't the person I want to be. I need to step back to summer when who I was and who I am are integral and I can be proud of myself. I miss all my home lovers so much and yet I feel like I can't talk to anyone til I'm there cause I'll just get too homesick.

Jersey Shore Paper (However, I still love it and I really want a sequal)

Camille Schmidt

13 January 2010

Communication Criticism

Guidos and Guidettes

The new series Jersey Shore on the MTV network is supposed to be a light-hearted reality program about young people trying to have an enjoyable summer vacation at the Jersey Shore. The emphasis on the “Guido” and “Guidette” sub-culture, however, has led to much controversy within the Italian American communities. The purpose of this analysis is to look into the many definitions of what a “Guido” is, to determine whether it is used in a primarily derogatory manner, and finally what makes this show so popular, and if Jersey Shore expresses anti-Italian sentiment. The show hides the prejudice behind the facade of entertainment. This analysis has an emphasis on the ideological critique of the show, and how mainstream America still has underlying racial tensions against Italian Americans. The study also investigates the use of reality television genre analysis and cultural re-appropriation as a means to understand Jersey Shore’ s pop culture significance and context within American society in the winter of 2010.

“Guido” is a slur for an Italian American subculture that was placed upon those of lower and middle class Italian Americans who did not assimilate into conventional American culture. “In Guido, Italian-American ethnicity is symbolically represented as the style of a local youth category. Ethnicity serves as a device of style linkage--a way of being Italian becomes referenced to an ensemble of youth culture signifiers. To this extent, ethnicity also draws boundaries intended to include some and exclude others” (Tricarico, 2007 p.7). However, the use of the term remains controversial and in opposition to two very vastly different definitions and whether it is used to hold Italian Americans in a place of inferiority or it suggests Italian American pride within the youth. “Guido has become a new ethnic insult for Italian Americans, surpassing the historical epithets of guinea, dago and wop” says Professor Donald Tricarico, a sociology professor at CUNY/Queensborough who wrote “Identity Politics of Guido” (Tricarico, 2007, p. 8). Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi one of the stars of Jersey Shore responds “some people think its a derogatory term. But it’s not --- it’s basically [a term] to describe Italians who like to look good and be the center of attention, and there’s nothing wrong with that”. (ABC News). Nicole’s costar Pauly D agrees stating “Guido is representing family, represents friend, tannin, gel, and everything. I have an f****ing tanning bed in my house. That’s how serious I am about being a Guido”. (Jersey Shore 2009). Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino describes a Guido as “a smooth well dressed Italian. Girls love Guidos “(Jersey Shore 2009). Vinny Nicole’s other roommate says “Most people might consider being a Guido like you’re stupid but I went to school and graduated college. But that doesn’t shy away from that I like to have fun at night and go partying and fist pumping like the best of them. Hey I’m proud to be a f****ing Guido.”

The use of the term Guido amongst the housemates is evidence of re-appropriation and recontextualization. Re-appropriation “is the cultural process by which a group reclaims—re-appropriates—terms or artifacts that were previously used in a way disparaging of that group. For example, since the early 1970s, much terminology referring to homosexuality—such as gay, queer and (to a lesser extent) faggot—has been re-appropriated” (Wikipedia). When groups, for example, Italian American’s use the term “Guido” it no longer becomes a disparaging term that has been assigned to them but evidence that Italian American’s are taking the opportunity to create their own positive Guido identity.

So maybe these stars of the show don’t believe that the term Guido is derogatory or slander, but many members of the Italian American community have voiced their opinions on how these young people reflect poorly on the community as a whole and that the Guido stereotype misappropriates most Italian Americans ““Jersey Shore is a show in which Italian-Americans are stereotyped (clearly at the urging of its producer) into degrading and debasing themselves -- and, by extension, all Italian-Americans -- and furthering the popular TV notion that Italian-Americans are gel-haired, thuggish, ignoramuses with fake tans, no manners, no diction, no taste, no education, no sexual discretion, no hairdressers (for sure), no real knowledge of Italian culture and no ambition beyond expanding steroid-and silicone-enhanced bodies into sizes best suited for floating over Macy's on Thanksgiving.” said Linda Stasi, an Italian-American New York Post writer (NYPost.com). The images set forth reinforce the negative stereotype of the Guido culture within much of the Italian American communities and the “white and mainstream” masses as well. .

Jersey Shore, is “reality television” in the subcategory of “keyhole programming”.

“Keyhole television signifies those ‘hidden camera’ or ‘personal camera’ type shows that catch famous or ‘ordinary’ people in embarrassing or otherwise ludicrous situations”. (Orlik 1994). Jersey shore would be considered “key hole” television because as an audience we view as the characters do embarrassing or crude things. For example, in the pilot episode of Jersey Shore, “Snooki” drinks too much and begins flirting unsuccessfully with all of the men in the house. As voyeurs and an audience we watch as she embarrasses herself and gets rejected by the men of the house on countless occasions. However, the whole show can be used as an example of keyhole television, because the characters consistently show themselves as self-centered, vain, ignorant, and stupid.

What makes the show entertaining is that all of the cast members are blissfully unaware at how ridiculous and out of touch they sound. America is having a laugh at their expense, while these people believe they are showing their glamourous lifestyle. While mainstream American’s value humility, natural beauty, and peaceful existence; the cast members of Jersey shore have inflated egos, inflated bodies, and seem to always want to get into physical confrontations. The American public finds this funny and entertaining. However, beyond the facade of humor is something far more disturbing, the cultural breakdown of the Italian family and the replacement of for Italian pride with a niche for consumerism and fist pumping. These blissfully ignorant young people are using a derogatory term to describe themselves and their peers. They are also affirming and creating more cultural boundaries between the “us” and “them” of mainstream American culture.

Although since Italian American’s immigrated to the United States in the late 19th century they were left out of the “us”, in mainstream America. While many Italian Americans came as laborers, there drinking habits and Catholic heritage were frowned upon and White Anglo-Saxon Protestants excluded Italians from their communities. The attempts at prohibition in the early part of the century, was essentially an attempt to squash that cultural foe from the new immigrant labor classes particularly Italians and the Irish. The subculture of Italian American communities emerged and Italian American’s developed their own traditions and identity. Unfortunately, due to the presence of the Mafia and organized crime associated with the people of that culture; Italian Americans have been villianized and affiliated with violence. The subcultures of gangsters, greasers, disco, and now “Guido” have been the different male stereotypes that have been used to identify Italian American’s throughout the decades of the 20th and now 21st century.

For example, within the first few minutes the show begins with a depiction of the cast-mates Jersey shore house. The wooden beach cottage in Seaside Heights is where the Jersey Shore cast-mates reside. The house is decorated in order to enhance the traditional stereotypes of modern Italian culture. The garage door is painted with the Italian flag, and then a map of New Jersey on top of that. Inside the rustic wood corridors is yet another map of New Jersey displayed prominently on the wall next to another Italian flag. Also is a framed poster of “Scarface” and New Jersey license plate with vanity plates reading “Nu Joisy”. Upon viewing the room, the audience is unable to disassociate the cast-mates from not only Italian culture and New Jersey but also the violence and Mafia associations with those groups and the colloquialisms of the lower classes of New Jersey. My interpretations of the house being blatantly offensive is not alone. After writing down notes about my experiences from watching the episode, I read other interpretations about what the show promotes. “MTV has festooned the bordello-like house set with the Italian flags and red, white, and green maps of New Jersey, while every other cutaway shot is of Italian signs and symbols. They are blatantly subliminally bashing Italian-Americans with every technique possible... (The cast members) are an embarrassment to themselves, their heritage and their families” UNICO National President Andre DiMino (UPI.com)

“Italian-American youth subculture has incorporated sites of consumption such as tanning salons, gyms, pool halls, and beauty parlors where ‘Guidettes get manicures, pedicures, and have their eyebrows waxed’... There are commercial advertisements for products that cultivate ‘the look’ of a ‘hottie’ like tanning, and whitening strips for teeth, and weigh control” (Tricarico, 2007, p.13) The show not only exposes the vanity of the main characters but also depicts them partying, drinking excessively and then having violent interactions with members of the New Jersey community. “Like ghetto youth, Guidos were portrayed as a ‘menace to society’ with the implication that they could not be comprehended as ‘white’ notwithstanding a racial attack” (Tricarico, 2007, p.12). Italian Americans are marginalized and not consider “one of the caucasians”, the portrayal of them as ‘menaces to society’ continues to propagate the idea that Italians are inherently dangerous and cannot be trusted. Tricarico suggests that “Guido is defined by an aggressive masculinity that marks the historical relationship to the ‘defended’ Italian-American neighborhood... The street-based youth subcultures invest heavily in social capital to counter ubiquitous threats.” (Tricarico, 2007, p. 14)

Members of the National Italian American Foundation (NIAF) a “ nonprofit, nonpartisan educational foundation that promotes Italian American culture and heritage and is committed to promoting a positive image of Italian Americans” (NIAF letter), wrote a letter to MTV asking them to remove the program from their lineup. Robert Allegrini, Chairman of the Image Enhancement Committee of NIAF wrote in a letter to the CEO of Viacom, MTV’s parent company, “Witnessing the promotional video alone was enough to create a high amount of concern specifically highlighting the language and examples of what we are fearful may depict Italian Americans in an unflattering light that reinforces incorrect and negative stereotypes of an entire ethnic group (NIAF Letter). He goes on to say goes on to say that “While some Italian Americans may adhere to the guido culture, the attempt to directly interconnect Guido and Italian American is not only inaccurate but alarming. A show such as this one is a giant leap backwards for our society and damages the image and sensibilities of Italian Americans.” (NIAF letter)

Upon reviewing the controversy, MTV dismissed any kind of blame or wrong doing on their part about depicting these young people in such a negative light. In fact, as controversy grew, the show became more popular. The show continues to grow in popularity. The premiere had just under 1.4 million viewers but Episode 4 just had over 2.5 million viewers. (Associated Press). So is “white” America having fun watching another subgroup for comedic enjoyment, I believe so. The characters and cast-members of Jersey Shore are not depicted in any sort of positive or glamorous way. But rather as one dimensional objects, they make fun of them as they would a clown in a circus. This is an example of how America’s cultural elite feels the need to belittle people of ignorance and make an example of them to serve as a warning to others who stray outside the line. Which leads me to my thesis: the “reality” television show, Jersey Shore, only serves to be a comedic source of entertainment because of an underlying reality, that America still has a prejudice against the Italian American populations in the North Eastern sections of United States. The “humor” is found by these Italian Americans enforcing traditional stereotypes of the working class population, and is stemmed by the ever-present xenophobia that has been imbedded within American culture since the Italians began to migrate to the northeastern seaboard in large populations in the early part of the 20th century.

The pilot episode can be used as an example of the audience watching the cast-mates embarrass themselves on national television. The show begins with Pauly D, as he describes him and his culture in vulgar language. Pauly D, then goes onto explain how he spends 25 minutes on his coif everyday. The producers then cut to him filling his car and suitcases with exorbitant amounts of hairspray. The first thing Pauly utters on the show is “I was born and raised a Guido.” (Jersey Shore 2009) Therefore, does being a “Guido” mean that you are a vapid and shallow man? It should be noted that his entire monologue is framed under Italian insignia. Next, the show depicts Nicole, “Snooki” who wears long fake pink fingernails, hair extensions, and is tanned to look like a piece of burnt toast. Next they depict Mike, otherwise known as “the Situation” . Please note, that he named himself “the Situation” because of his washboard abs. Enough said. The camera then shows Sammi, “Sweetheart” who seems nice enough until she explains what she believes is a “Guidette” her subculture, the way she defines herself, “A Guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, and has tan skin, has the hottest heals, and pretty much know how to rock it.” (Jersey Shore 2009). Please note that Sammi is not defining “Guidette” with sarcasm or introspectively but with pride. The last notable cast-member monologue is Vinny who describes himself as a “I’m a generational Italian. Guys with blow out and the fake tans, wear lip gloss and makeup,those aren’t Guidos; they’re f****ing [derogatory term for homosexual males]”. Charming, right?

What interests me about the show Jersey Shore is that it has become such a phenomena on American television. Despite the stupidity of their cast, lack of plot, and conventionality of its format Jersey Shore continues to have exceptional viewership despite being on a cable network. In fact Jersey Shore has created somewhat of a pop culture phenomena. Jersey Shore continues to be one of Itunes’ top downloaded television shows, the cast continues to grace the covers of magazines and appear on late night and daytime television and they command upwards of 5,000 dollars to make appearances at bars and clubs throughout the country. In 1992, professional journalist Carl Bernstein wrote “We are in the process of creating, in sum, what deserves to be called the idiot culture. Not an idiot subculture, which every society has bubbling beneath the surface and which can provide harmless fun; but the culture itself. For the first time in our history the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norm, even our cultural ideal” (Bernstein,1992, p. 2).

In conclusion, the Italian American organizations have good reason to demand the termination of Jersey Shore from the airwaves. MTV is taking advantage of American xenophobia to other subcultures besides what is considered normal. They also choose a subgroup of Italian Americans who are a very small percentage of the entire population. The subgroup of Guidos, is associated with a lack of education, superficiality, consumerism, and violence and MTV takes no effort in editing the footage to show any kind of disparity with the stereotypical “guido”. The cast members of the show, while enjoying their newfound fame, have no perception that they perpetuating a negative feeling towards Italian Americans that the many generations before them worked very hard to try and eliminate. Not only do these cast members reflect poorly on their own ethnic group, but they also reflect ageism and that American 20 somethings are only about the material comforts, selfish, lazy and obsessed with sex. Lastly, these cast-members reflect poorly on themselves, they are showing their little knowledge about their culture, drink themselves into obliteration, disrespect for relationships, and promiscuity with strangers. Jersey Shore ended January 21st of 2010 and I’m sure many people hope that there is and will never be a sequel.

Citations

Allegrini, R. Letter from the National Italian American Foundation to Mr. Philippe Dauman on 24 November 2009

Bernstein, C. (1992). The Idiot culture. The World, 3.

Friedman, E. (n.d.). MTV's Jersey Shore Angers Italian-American Groups - ABC News. ABCNews.com - Breaking news, politics, online news, world news, feature stories, celebrity interviews and more - ABC News. Retrieved January 13, 2010, from http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/mtv-show-jersey-shore-angers-italian-american-groups/story?id=9292815

Mulvhill, G. (n.d.). The Associated Press: At Jersey shore, thumbs down for 'Jersey Shore'. Google. Retrieved January 13, 2010, from http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jfdY90y7g7dsx612kUGYrhMKTw9QD9COCEQ00

Orlik, PB (1994) Electronic Media Criticism:Applied perspectives. Boston: Focal Press

Press International. (n.d.). Italian-Americans slam 'Jersey Shore' - UPI.com. Latest news, Latest News Headlines, news articles, news video, news photos - UPI.com. Retrieved January 13, 2010, from http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/TV/2009/12/04/Italian-Americans-slam-Jersey-Shore/UPI-85771259960979/

Re-appropriation. (2009, April 1). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 18:44, January 25, 2010, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Reappropriation&oldid=281040659

Salsano, S. A. (2009). Episode 1 [Television series episode]. In Jersey shore. New York: MTV.

Stasi, L. (n.d.). Italian exec behind 'Jersey Shore' - NYPOST.com. New York News | Gossip | Sports | Entertainment | Photos - New York Post. Retrieved January 13, 2010, from http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv shore_fire_COTVF2zoFkfLnIhqGJnGNL

Tricarico, D (2007). Youth culture, ethnic choice, and the identity politics of guido. Voices in Italian Americana, 18(1), 34-53.

“Yesterday's just a memory, tomorrow is never what it's supposed to be.”-Bob Dylan

I haven't written in awhile, I'm not sure if I exactly knew what to write or if I even have time to write. I have been taking an intercession class down here in SD for the last few weeks and making the adjustments to life down here. Its not home, that's for sure, and my favorite people aren't present, but I'm really trying to enjoy myself and get my head on straight. I'm really working on being productive, every single day, and I'm really trying to be positive and stay away from making myself homesick in anyway. I'll be back in Marin, March 6th btw, which will be my spring break, so I hope to see everyone then. I'm really just trying to be open to new things, new people and new experiences. Although, I'm still pretty judgmental when I see the "Jersey Shore" wannabes with their hair gel and affliction or ed hardy pretty much everywhere here. If you haven't seen this, you should. http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2009/04/13/124-hating-people-who-wear-ed-hardy/

Speaking of "Jersey Shore", I am beginning a small sick obsession with the show. I am actually writing my thesis on it for my comm criticism class. After it is said and done and turned in on Monday, maybe I will post it. It's about the "Guido stereotypes, and the denigration of the Italian American subcultures". There is supposed to be a Jersey Shore party Wednesday of next week in PB and I am really tempted to go and do my best Snooki.. if only I had a bump-it.

Anyway, San Diego is completely flooded which is interesting to say the least. Also, I would like to say I've been welcome back by great friends who have been making sure my adjustment goes smoothly and I am truly thankful. With much love and admiration to all my friends and family. Goodnight

ps. My neighbor snores like a mofo and I can hear them through 2 walls. How is that possible?

If this is what I'm supposed to do, why do I have that sick feeling that I am leaving everything I love?