Rereading that post... wow that was a lame metaphor.

I should be asleep right now but I'm still wired from the huge redbull I drank two hours ago in Pacific Heights. I would just like to note that I love the friends I've known since high school or before more than anyone. : )

Rough few days...I'm just trying to get a handle on everything

Proud and alone, cold as a stone
Rolling down that hill into the night
I could see the surprise and the hurt in your eyes
From behind each flashing city light
Love needs a heart and that I need to find
If loves needs a heart like mine- Love Needs a Heart- Jackson Browne

People don't belong to other people. We choose and have the freedom to choose whose company we keep. My attempts to make myself worth loving  always seem to fall flat.We define relationships and even marriages in order to restrain our natural instincts, or chain them to ourselves so they can't love someone else.  But really whats the point?relationships and marriages often have infidelity whether sexually or of the mind.  People are just like wild birds who often look so beautiful in their natural elementthat we want to cage them to keep them close and keep the beauty near us always. Unfortunately, once a wild bird is caged it loses its beauty... no longer does it have the choices 

to fly and interact with its natural environment. Also, the bird you have loved so dearly begins to resent you. The conclusion, is we can't cage a wild bird we can only feed them and hope to notscare them away. There are no guarantees with the bird but hopefully just being close it will grow to trust you and love you back. Maybe one day the wild bird will choose to stay near. 

You musn't give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they're strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky. - Breakfast at Tiffanys