So I'm pretty sure I need to stop drinking to get drunk. I don't really know the person I become. But apparently, she kinda sucks. I need to work on a lot of other things too. Early new years resolution...

I hadn't done one of these since 2007

1.What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I had never taken a semester off from school, or worked ina restaurant
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I have no idea what mine was. My resolution for next year is to be happy.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no one close, Thank God

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't visit any

5 1/2. What states did you visit?
None

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A drama free existence

7. What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 4th, I had a really nice fourth of july in Larkspur and in the city

September 14th, finally legal to drink

4/20- So close to Britney

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Having four jobs, and selling 100,000 dollars
9. What was your biggest failure?
rather not say

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
The wound, and my eight million flus

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my purse

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my own

13. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my besties

14. Where did most of your money go?
clothing, eating out, alcohol

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
my 21st birthdayyy

16. What songs will always remind you of 2009?
Just Dance-Lady Gaga

TikTok- Ke$ha

Use Somebody-Kings of Leon

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
Happier
ii. thinner or fatter?
thinner
iii. richer or poorer?
richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
spending time with Gab and Bailey

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
crying, attempting to save my relationships

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
already did

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
yes

23. How many one-night stands?
1

24. What was your favorite TV program?
gossip girl, criminal minds

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone. I'm trying to not hold any grudges.

26. What was the best book you read?
men are from mars women are from venus

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Kings of Leon, Ke$ha (jk)

28. What did you want and get?
all these clothes, success

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
the hangover

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
21, and we went to guaymas, and then we all went out to circa the week later
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if I wasn't on bad terms with someone who means alot to me

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
fur, studs, rider boots, and sparkles

34. What kept you sane?
besties, being home

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
BRITNEYYYYYYYYYY

oh and for celeb crushes matt damon and still ryan phillipe

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
when i realized that politics dont matter and that its all run by the same crooks

37. Who did you miss?
nicole and john

38. Who was the best new person you met?
khadijah

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
if something is broken, you cant fix it
40. What's your favorite song of 2009?
revelry-kings of leon

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Wake up in the morning feeling like pdiddy!

I honestly cant believe what I have to go through when I tell my parents the truth... dun dun dun... I'm picking my friend up from the airport. I have honestly been screamed at and harassed for 3 days straight because I refused to lie to them that I would in fact be doing it. I will not make someone ride on the airporter when they are coming to visit me. I can't believe how they don't understand that making someone enter a strange city and take a bus costing 20 dollars to visit me... isn't rude? and that I'm in trouble cause I won't let them. I am still so embarassed by all the times I let them win before in terms of that. When Casey would come out to see me and they would make him take it. I can't believe how much I've been harassed for trying to do the right thing. I could honestly cry right now. I was woken up at 1:30 am to be yelled at about it.

Wearing dark glasses...

It's 3 am and tomorrow is my first day off since wednesday. Unfortunately, I have a final tomorrow in chemistry. II haven't really had restful sleep in two months. I'm stressing. Not really because of the open book exam, but I think I'm really fearful about going back to San Diego. I really haven't talked to many people there or in depth and it seems that the only people awaiting my arrival are guys. My whole openneess to the male gender is really leaning towards platonic feelings at the moment. After the last few months, I can't really imagine wanting anything with anyone else at the moment. Funny thing is, I don't think others see that from me, the whole vast void that takes place at the dinner date conversations . It's just not there for me at the moment with these new suitors but I'm not going to say that when someone is putting in the effort to care. I just go along, smile, and make up some excuse of why I have to be home that night.

Its that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see that person, thats missing. Its that one person that is there and the days you can't cry, they say anything and there are floodgates. It's either there or it isn't and it feels like a lie when you know you have those feelings for someone else when you are sitting on a date with someone who is paying for your meal. You play along and smile through your teeth and try and avoid the intruding thoughts of that someone who doesn't have those lingering feelings for you. So how do you cope? This is what you're supposed to do, fake it til you make it. Thats what everyone around me wants me to do. It makes it easier for everyone involved. Say a prayer for the pretender.

Today, I worked til 11:30 pm. Suprisingly, it was one of my better days of work. I had very easy customers, good friends there, and not much time spent with some of the other associates who are not very nice people. Anyway, the reason I am writing is because I spent about a half hour talking to our sixty plus old maintenance worker, Adolfo. I spoke in Spanish to him and he spoke in English to me, really trying to learn about our life stories and tenses. Adolfo, is a native of Lima, Peru, who came to US seven years ago to afford tuition for his three daughters college tuitions.He came here because he had reached retirement age and could no longer work overtime which granted him the amount of three salaries verses one. He was a member of the Peruvian airforce, had trained in Paris, in French, to learn how to be a mechanic on military jets. Today, he is the hardest worker constantly working manual labor picking up trash and moving hangers. The worst part, is most people ignore or pretend not to see Adolfo. He works harder and is outwardly kind to everyone, and he is being taken advantage by those with no work ethic and very little education. Obviously, the American dream allows for him to be able to own a home and make more than he did in his own home country, to be able to afford three college tuitions. However, my recommendation from the week is to look beyond exteriors, and make the effort to get to know people, especially the numerous Spanish speakers in our area. It may just inspire you to make the most of our positions.