Growing up is the process of learning that our parents are far from who we thought they are. We learn of our parents' sacrifices, struggles, longings and vices; as we look to them as models of who we are becoming or who we could have become. As children, we paint them as our heroes or in the best possible light, and as we gain awareness of the world around us they emerge and show what they truly are, human--flawed. Now this humanity or change of awareness, isn't necessarily a bad thing, in the case of one parent, it endears me more to them. However, in the other their "inhumanity" becomes more and more self-evident every single day. There is no lesson to be learned except whom I don't want to become. I have no desire conduct my family, like a quasibusiness deal, or to treat the ones I love under suspision that they will take from me.

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.
Buddha

Coming from a catholic education, I have learned something that I have taken very seriously, when entering into marriage the effort is to love unconditionally. Outside of a marriage as well, the foundation of all human relationships between strangers and our most intimate is love. The whole basis of christianity, which I believe has been morphed and misconstrued by ignorance is the foundation to love one another without judgment and fear. The emphasis is on not judging others, and loving your neighbor as yourself. While I'm not sure where I fall in the organized religious scale, I do take those values to heart.

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.- J. C.